Friday, July 13, 2012

Fake Orgasm?.......Thoughts?

Why do so many Women fake orgasms? Why are we so quick to blame our partner? In all reality, it's not our partners fault! When two people initially begin seeing one another, They want to please each other to the point of putting their own personal likes aside to make the other happy. This is the beginning of the cycle of fake orgasms for years to come! If you cant be honest with one another about what pleases you, how you like it, or don't like it...How are they to know? After some time, it becomes the norm to fake it, to get it over with without hurting feelings. Now this tells me one important thing here...You obviously have feelings for your partner, to not want to hurt them by informing them they aren't doing what you like. Here's the thing though...If it goes on so long, how do you change it? How do you tell someone you have been faking it for months, or even years, it's not doing it for you? The first thing that is bound to happen is a blow to the pride, the loss of trust...because initially you have been lying to them all along. How do you break the cycle? My advice to newly found couples...be honest from the start..You aren't going to lose someone by letting them know what you like and what does it for you. Try it...It really works ;)

28 comments:

  1. A real man should know if you're faking or not. There are just some things you can't fake...namely, the twitches. Can't fake that stuff!! I've faked, he asked, I told...and it was not a good outcome...he was crushed and I wanted to "try again," but his pride was hurt. It was his fault because he asked.

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    1. I never intended to injure his pride. I was just going to go with the flow and try it again. He asked the question and set himself up!!! I think it bothered him from that point on.

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    2. LOL.I even tried one time to do some kegels just to imitate the twitches so I wouldn't hurt his feelings. I just wasn't into it at all.. haha

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  2. I think some people fake it because they just can't have one and that freaks them out. Others fake it because they don't want to make their partner feel bad that they can't get there with the person. I think if you are in a relationship and are committed you should just be honest.

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    1. I totally agree! I'm waiting on the question to get thrown at me lol

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  3. Lol, great topic!! Never faked an orgasm. I've always been very vocal about what does it for me. If you want hot sex, you have to be willing to talk about what flips your switch with your man.

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  4. Wow, this is really a good thought provoking subject. The only thing that I have to go from is personal experience. I have none.....lol.....just kidding...lol. This is a new age and time that we live in. When I was raised and throughout my growing up, things like this were not discussed. Having been raised by a somewhat prudish mother, I often had the impression that sex was more of something a woman had to do in the marriage. How sad was this? It wasn't until the middle to late 60s and early 70s that sex or "free love" if you will came to the forefront. By that time unfortunately, I was a bit one sided. It may sound like I am rambling but I do have a point to get to. Ditter is right. If your partner or spouse does not know what feels good to you, then how are they ever going to be able to please you. THERE HAS TO BE OPEN COMMUNICATION with any relationship. If you can't be open with your partner or spouse about anything and/or everything, you shouldn't be in that relationship. There should be no faking....faking is a form of lieing and lies will destroy a relationship. It took 6 months before I let go of myself with my husband and once I did, well....you all know how I am now....lol.

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    1. *Claps* Bravo Pammie!! Wow...You are so wise!! I love you!

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  5. I agree completely. My hubby KNOWS already. However, I have never faked an orgasm because when I was a younger woman, it was the height of the women's movement -- in the -- ahem -- 1970's. There was much talk and writing about how women are responsible for their OWN orgasm. So I vowed I'd never fake it, and I haven't. The trick is to find someone you are actually mostly compatible with to start with and then work out the glitches. I'd never be with someone who I had to just absolutely draw him a picture of what to DO in bed; however, of course you can tell him what feels right to you without being brutal about it. lol!

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  6. I guess I am the odd man out. I probably have faked more than not. For me it is the guilt that I had failed in some way, and didn't want to make him feel inadequate when deep down I blamed myself and the pressure thinkign "oh i gotta have one" Also, I learned about sex long before I learned about orgasms so when I was younger it was just something you did in the dark corner of a party, a quicky just to please the guy and off ya go. Probably TMI, but there ya go.

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    1. You're not alone there Tonya. I have faked them in the past also. As I got older I realized something...WTF? No more..as a matter of fact, It kind of pisses me off if it doesnt happen ;)

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  7. Before my celibacy I was in relationships with men who were well endowed and new what they were doing and had as much stamina as I did. I was a nympho, I loved sex! Still do, but needed a break after my last relationship. I've never had a problem telling the man how, where or why I wanted it. But I do remember being in my 20's and faking it once ( I was a little tipsy and didn't realize the guy was as big as my pinkie)cause he couldn't keep up with me and I just couldn't handle it anymore. As soon as I did my Oscar winning shout out it was over and I got up and left. I think if your not honest about what you want and what turns you on and your partner on than there is no point, especially if you've tried and it just doesn't work.

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    1. Lmao@ Oscar winning shout out!!! Love it Carms!

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  8. Ahhh...so orgasm- real or fake. In my younger days I did fake but I was also very vocal about what i liked and wanted. i remember my first boyfriend...he was well endowed and figured just going in was enough. I told him after one round that his ceiling has patterns and some look like animals. He was not impressed.

    I faked it during the 'drunk fu@%' because it just got stupid. He still didn't finish and finally i told him 'get off me, don't care if you're so close, you're done now'.

    I think that we need to be happy and content with ourselves and our desires. if you are not open to what turns you on, you won't be open to sharing with someone.

    I'm selfish now...get me done first then hang on baby.

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    1. Lmao Rosie!! I love it! It's so true...But bless their hearts...to be fair, they are used to Women telling them they are the best they have ever had, etc etc...They dont know any better lol

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  9. To be fair, we were teenagers...but he was VERY experienced. He was the first for me and also the first one I tied and blindfolded and other nefarious things. got better after that. he was very surprised and so was i...didn't know what a dominant was. just knew i liked control and he was good at taking direction after i counted ceiling animals. ;-)

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  10. Lol at the subject matter, but in seriousness what's the point in you women faking? Might hurt our pride he's, but actually it's you that loses out. Why are you having boring sex? You can speak up without hurting your bloke.

    If drinking the same cup of coffee day in day out bores you, that your not enjoying it, add sugar, add milk right?

    Same with sex. If it isn't doing it for you, work on what does.

    I had a girlfriend who struggled to orgasm, wasn't for not trying either ;) you've just got to communicate.

    You can talk about everything else, why not what turns you on and gets you there?

    And if you can't talk about stuff, what are you doing?

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    1. I would like to thank you for commenting!! Most guys wouldnt have the balls :) Love that about you!

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  11. It shouldn't matter, if your willing to sleep with the person, why fake it to begin with!

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    1. Exactly John! Thank you also for commenting.. Nice to see you're not Blogaphobic :D

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  12. I don't think it's a matter of not telling your partner what you do and don't like. Let's face it ... the woman's body is complicated and sometimes an orgasm isn't going to happen ... regardless of what the couple does. And I think it's hard for men to understand that sex can be just as wonderful and fulfilling even without the orgasm. (At least for me.) A caring guy hates to leave the job unfinished ... hence faking an orgasm. And it doesn't matter what you tell them, there is a sense of failure on the guy's part. Sometimes a woman just has to balance the guilt of faking with the pleasure of snuggling with a satisfied man. Just sayin ...

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    1. It's almost impossible to accomplish without a total mental connection also...
      Thanks for commenting, beautiful Nina!!!

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  13. I have always looked at sex as something that should be mutually beneficial. whenever I'm at that moment I'm not so puffed up with pride that I think I am a human vibrator and as long as I get mine she will surely follow suit.
    Someone said something about twitching? Nailed it!!!! I think that if enough attention is given then a guy can sense what a Woman's body wants. It's all about being tuned in. When you give a massage and you find a tight muscle that hurts you don't rub harder so as to get done sooner and catch the rest of the Braves Game . LOL!!! Why fake it till you make it. How many times have you accidentally had the Big O! Ladies I say take responsibility and be honest with the guys. He is either a lazy ASS or just does not care about you if he is not willing to learn what you need. And you may just make a better man of him. Personally , I would wear a TuTu and swing from a trapeze if that would do it for my partner. I'm all in LOL! Half measure avails us nothing right? And what about the lost art of kissing? I personally can remember the top 3 greatest kissers in my kissing career. Want a mental connection when Love making? Find a great kisser!
    Some more food for thought. Remember that Braves game? Guys fake it to!!! So imagine how you would feel about finding that out.
    I look at it like this. Sex is about making children or self seeking instant gratification.
    Love making is about teamwork and exploration ,learning more to give more and ultimately get more. That's what I'm talking about. :-)

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