Thursday, September 13, 2012

Neighbor Chronicles-Take 5

Two more flat tires...Really?? How juvenile! After calling for help with the tires and replacing more valve stems, I go to work with my brain kicked into overdrive! What to do...What is really going to get my message across?? Oh yessss...and the perfect plan forms. They have a big German Shepard that lives on their screened porch. It's not my fault it has indoor/outdoor carpet :) After work, it's another stop at publix...straight to the pharmacy to pick up some laxatives! I wait until midnight and make my move..a nice hamburger ball with several Exlax tucked nice and neat inside! I can barely sleep for laughing, so I set the alarm a little early and spring up like the bed is on fire! Now I'M the one in the blinds like a crack addict! As soon as he emerged, it happened! Not only did he step in it, he slid down in it!!! Oh it was beautiful! I have never laughed so hard in my life! He had shit from neck to heels!! The funny thing was, he had no idea I was responsible, so I was a little disappointed..sort of :D.

Weeks went by without incident, until I go to put the trash in the can on garbage day...it's full of rotted food and maggots! I have no doubt he did it, as I would never do something like that! It was my responsibility to clean the mess! Oh my God what to do now!! After calling in reinforcements, we gathered at my place to plan our move....Thank God he doesn't know of my fear of spiders...or does he..? Stay tuned...

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