Friday, September 21, 2012

Neighbor Chronicles-Take 6

The usual weeks that normally pass without incident, all of a sudden took a back seat. Cock eye struck without warning! He truly crossed the line this time! Somehow he gained knowledge of my grand fear of spiders! Arachnophobia is not a myth. I happen to suffer from it! When I say suffer...I mean full blown panic sets in kind of suffer! White streak left in the hair kind of suffer! You get the point :)

  After slaving it up at work all day, I come home to my worst nightmare! I pulled the car along side the mailbox to grab the pile of bills that were no doubt waiting in there, with their greedy little clear windows showing off the Bastards who felt I owed them money! My hand brushed across something that moved. It ran across the top of my hand before jumping out at me! It was the biggest spider I had ever seen! I began shaking and crying uncontrollably. I dove out the other side of the car and danced around thinking he no doubt had gotten on me somehow! He hadn't of course, but arachnophobia isn't intimate with common sense! I had to calm down...He has won! I had to get back in that car, knowing...just knowing that spider was waiting in there for me! Waiting with all eight eyes on me...all eight legs poised to spring! I had no choice...I jumped back in still crying...not just crying, but the UGLY cry! You know the one, equipped with snot and splotches on the cheeks and forehead! I ran up on the porch trying to get inside and strip out of the spider infested clothes, and see a can with a lid on it sitting by the front door. I should have never picked it up, but I had to know...I opened the lid and three more massive spiders ran out!! I shot off of that porch screaming...running and ugly crying, straight to the neighbor on the left! He was about to call 911 before I could get out what was happening! I stayed inside with his wife while he took care of the spider situation and sprayed out my car (Just in case). Needless to say, good clean fun turned into full blown revenge...I couldn't wait for the reinforcements to arrive...He was going down...Stay tuned~


  1. Oh honey!!! *huge hugs* That's dirty! Condoms, guys are getting down to full blown hatfield/mccoy territory!

  2. Replies
    1. Someone might better tell him that


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