Monday, October 1, 2012

Neighbor Chronicles-Take 7

As you read earlier, the spider incident was a line crosser for me. I had the troops gathered and downing bud light and smoking cigarettes like it was December 21, 2012 ;). We wait and wait...it's 1am now...it's on! So, my brother slips out back and picks up our weapon of choice. (Raw chicken that's been sitting in the sun all day). WE all gather at the window to watch as he army crawls to the neighbors house with said chicken! I could smell it from inside, oh it was bad. We watch as he slides under their house dragging that rotten chicken meat. By this point I am having a difficult time holding my bladder! I have never seen anything as funny as my skinny brother army crawling with rotten chicken in my life! Maybe it was the beer, I'm not sure, but for Gods sake that was hysterical. My closest friends were gathered around, trying to hold themselves up while doing a leg crossing dance! (I guess I wasn't the only one who had to pee).

 As my brother disappears under the house, the porch light comes on! It's floater, trying to quiet the growling dog! My brother freezes, looking back at us...Wrong thing to do!! I lost all control, all bodily function was gone! I fell on the floor crying with laughter. I cried so hard I was cramping in my ribs area. It didn't help that 2 of my girlfriends fell on top of me and one lost her bladder..which started a chain reaction! We finally were able to drag ourselves back up to the window and be the look outs we were supposed to be! He was in..gone from site! I snuck out there and squatted down near where he disappeared earlier, and...I could hear him laughing! Oh dear God, I should have been the last one to go out there! I fell on my ass and starting crying all over again! I could smell it!!! I couldn't see him very well, but I could damn sure hear him, and that's all it took. He finally came out and started dragging me by my arm, while I was limp, cramping and crying!

  We made it back inside and there they all were, all big eyed and pale from laughing. I finally asked the question everyone wanted to know...What did you do with it? He very calmly replied "I cut a slit in it and put it in the duct work" Everyone just stared, before I went down again. Needless to say, it was a hell of an incredibly fun and painful night. I fell asleep thinking of the smell they were going to wake up to and have no idea how to be rid of it, and wondering a little about the retaliation...and there was retaliation....Stay tuned :)

15 comments:

  1. O..m..g... you guys are awesome! And the pee chain reaction was priceless!

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  2. That is awesome

    next chapter please!

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  3. lol ok Rosie...Will continue tonight or tomorrow, just for you :)

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    1. Can't wait!! My mom thinks its flipping hilarious

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  4. Omg... I love it, Roflmao!!! Can't wait to read what happens next. My fam & friends would be doing the same for me, if I had neighbors like that.

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  5. Omg... I love it, Roflmao!!! Can't wait to read what happens next. My fam & friends would be doing the same for me, if I had neighbors like that.

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    1. lmao Carmen, I will continue the story very soon!

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  6. OMG Ditter!!! I wantto be you when I grow up!!

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  7. Nu uh? Oh My God!!! I think I have to pee...that is funny

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  8. rushes to read the next part!!! one good thing about missing the week, heeeheeeeee, can't wait to see what ole stink eye thinks about this! lmfao

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