Saturday, November 3, 2012

Relationships in the 21st century

Relationships today are far more difficult than 50, even 20 years ago. One of the reasons for that would be, there are 12 men to every 1 female on this planet. Now with odds like that, it's no wonder men develop a wandering eye. I am probably going to piss off a lot of men and a few women with this, but after discussing this with so many over the years, I believe i'm spot on. First of all, that fairy tale we call love, is a game, and if you don't know how it's played, you lose. Simple as that. Let me start by saying this...A man loves a challenge...I know, I know...You ladies don't want to hear that, but trust me...they do. I myself have fallen prey to it and it's exhausting, let me tell you! Another side of this coin in defense of the guys...Women let themselves go. During the dating process  we fix our hair, wear makeup, dress nice and take care of our bodies...for some reason after being in a relationship for a period of time, we begin slipping. It starts out slow...subtle things that aren't a big deal at first, but end up being disastrous! For instance, no more sexy clothes...Less and less makeup...The hair gets put on the back burner...We begin gaining weight and shaving less often. Yes shaving..I said it...You know it's true! Biggest blunder here...are you ready for this? SEX! Men love sex...they grow tired of being the aggressor...They want to be approached some also. Remember in the beginning...when you did everything you could think of to please him in bed? What happened to that? And guys...wipe the smirk off of your face...What happened to the romance? The foreplay? In my experience a man will go after you with both guns, until you give in...When they know they have you, they know you want them...they break you...the challenge is gone. They grow bored with it. Guys, say what you want about that, it doesn't matter to me, I know it's true, and you know its true! So what is the answer here...the middle ground? IS there a middle ground? Ladies, I have made some HUGE relationship mistakes, i'm telling you this so you don't make the same ones I have. Lets talk about trust. Here is another problem with women. Women need another female to validate for them. They need a friend to confide in...Its in our DNA. The problem is, women cant be trusted...Ladies, take it from me...DO NOT confide in another woman ANYTHING about your man..(It wont stay between you two) and will end up destroying your relationship or friendship..More to come later!

11 comments:

  1. I remember the best advice my grandmother gave me regarding relationships. When someone would say a relationship is 50/50 she would get so upset and say "that is just WRONG" When I was much older I finally asked her why its wrong to say its 50/50. She said "Each person has to put in 100% if they expect to get anything worth a damn in return"

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  2. Well, I am not going to mention my relationship (marriage) because you know where it is at. But yes Ditter, I agree with your observations. I am one of the women who let herself go and I absolutely hate it. It has come back to bite me in the butt because I can't do a few of the things now that I once did to love my man right. And yes, it is so amazing to see how many guys have a wandering eye. Sometimes it is really scary. One thing I am grateful for is that as I have aged, I have fallen in love with sex again. I am just as eager to jump in the bed as my husband is...he loves it. Yes Tonya, your grandmother was right. Both partners have to be willing to give 100%. We as woman need to not take the relationship/marriage for granted. We need to continue to take care of ourselves mentally AND physically. We need to consider the wants and needs of our partner. And men, that goes for you as well. It works both ways. If you love each other, then you do what you have to do in order to meet the other's needs. And don't get me started about trust and friendship. All I can say about that is if you tell your friend you love her and don't share her secrets, then you damn well better be telling the truth and keep your mouth closed. Just my opinion....<3

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    1. Perfect response yet again Pammie!! I'm happy for you in your marriage and I appreciate your honesty!! Love you <3

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  3. There's an old blues song that says 'Don't Go Advertising your Man' - go got it right Ditter.

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  4. Spot on and awesome as always! Agree wholeheartedly about both men and women. I'll even say there are some men who's agree as well as women. Freakin' daily stressers have their field day and the relationship is the loser in the end.

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    1. Thank you Alix....It's sad but true...

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  5. I've been married for 28 years, and I can still tell you that most of what you said is completely true!

    And yes, sometimes it has been as if he knew exactly how much I wanted him and used that to HIS advantage to the point that I just threw up my hands and walked away refusing to be put into that position in the relationship. I did let myself go as well because in my case I was hurt the way he seemed to reject me many times and yet still come back when I really wanted him to be my friend and confidant as well as sex partner.

    It really is not fair, and yet I do feel that sometimes they really do use it against us if we need them emotionally or -- and yes financially -- too much.

    The truth is that many times when we were younger, he preferred me to be aloof even inside the marriage because that was more of a challenge for him -- than for me to show him the way I really felt about him.

    Although they like to be approached for sex, most of them still want to call the shots -- even turning you down (at least in my experience) so that they can feel more in control and yet feel flattered by the offer.

    Some women really are vultures as well. They pretend to be your friend to get closer to your man just waiting for the opportunity. It's a twisted and long and winding path.

    Right now he and I are getting along really well. Perhaps we have passed some of those games now, or at least I hope so. :)


    Joy

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  6. Wow Joy, that's a long time to be married! You must be doing something right!

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  7. Sadly, this is true. The gossip of other women is something I work hard to ignore or certainly not contribute to. In my life, I've always been the minority female. I grew up in a male-dominated household. I live in one now. I work in predominantly male industries. I've learned how men think and behave and that has also made me more effective professionally. Guess that's also why my best friend is a man.

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