Monday, December 3, 2012

Jaded....

Today I want to talk about being Jaded.

jad·ed

  [jey-did]
adjective
1.
dulled or satiated by overindulgence: a jaded appetite.
2.
worn out or wearied, as by overwork or overuse.
3.
dissipated: a jaded reprobate.

I have been talking with many recently that have admitted to being Jaded. I myself am jaded to a degree.  What I want to know is why? Why does it have to be this way. This brings us to men. Now men, I understand there are some sensitive ones that are no doubt jaded also, so we will skip over you for a minute. I want to talk about the players...The general asshats that use and abuse. You wonder why women don't trust you, you hate being the roll over from a previous relationship, and yet you do the same damage to this female in different ways.  I have noticed more times than not, women are a challenge to men...when that challenge is gone, so is the interest. I have heard so many times from men "It doesn't matter to me what her body type is"  or this one "I don't like a woman who wears makeup" or the most common one "It's her personality i'm attracted to" Yet the biggest complaint by men when they are ready to leave is "She let herself go..She didn't fix her hair and makeup anymore" Personally, I would like to hear an honest response from the men on what really does it for them. Cut through the bullshit and be honest. It may help some of the Ladies understand you better and know what you want.

Now, Ladies... Here is what we are guilty of. He doesn't give me enough attention, so he gets no ass tonight. We crave attention so much that we flirt with just about every man in a 100 mile radius. It's not to cheat, it's to fill a driving need to be loved, to be noticed, to be appreciated and wanted. To feel attractive and desired is something every woman wants. Men too for that matter.  I am guilty of all of the above, so I'm not pointing fingers, just want to hear others thoughts on this as well on what makes us tick. 

My ex used to look at me with such love and adoration in his eyes that it would humble and almost embarrass me. After a time that faded and he stayed angry with me more times than not. I never could figure out why, but I think I get it now. It was rejection in it's purest form. I had been emotionally rejecting him...that's when bitterness enters the equation. It's not that they no longer love you, it's they resent you for not loving them just as much. I don't think there is anything we can do to change this, which makes me jaded...it's inevitable. With that being said, where do we go from here? If we don't commit, we don't get hurt and yet our hearts are always seeking that "one". It's a no win situation----Jaded.

Back to the sensitive men...You are the ones I feel for the most. Women are fickle creatures! They complain about a man not being sensitive enough...yet when they acquire one, they will step over him to get back to the asshat. The circle of life my friend. I have no advice to give you on that, as I am an asshat lover myself :) 

Have a very jaded day~ 

8 comments:

  1. Oh yeah! Absolutely. Men do this all the time. Even mine. You don't dress up anymore. You don't have your hair done. You don't wear makeup every day . . . .

    Well, sometimes it's hard to dress up when you're scrubbing toilets and mopping floors. Who has time to get your hair done when you have kids running around or in my case have a special needs child who needs so much of your attention. Makeup? What's THAT? The stuff that runs into your eyes when you're sweating? lol!

    Men love to be babied. They want you to wait on them hand and foot. But the catch is that when you do that, they do begin to take you for granted so you just have to pamper them along the way or vice versa really.

    In the same way that your ex was just mooning over you, it's the same for them. You moon over the too much, and they begin to feel uncomfortable too. They realize they don't really deserve THAT level of devotion. Nobody TRULY does unless they are saints, and I don't see too many married saints. lol!

    It's all a dance is what it is. Enough of this and enough of that, two steps sideways, and back track and spin around. Then come back again because nobody can truly stand that kind of intensity.

    It's basically when you don't spin around and start over or include the dressing up, makeup, seduction into the cycle that it all gets completely skewed. That's when you start to hear, "You never . . . !" Which may not be true, but it's just not enough in the cycle to please the other person and provide them their NEEDS.

    That's pretty much it in the long run.

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    1. As always Joy, you get it!! I love your comments! Always so insightful...It's true...it really is a dance of chance <3
      Thank you!!

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  2. Wow Ditter......just wow!!! So many things to think about in this one, it almost overwhelms me... As one of those women who let herself go and now it is at the point where what's done is done, I can only say that the sadness at my selfishness gets to be overwhelming!!! I too would love an HONEST answer from some of our resident Asshats....psst..do we really have some???? hehehe
    I too am a flirt....I love to flirt even at age 60...am I doing damage with this??? OMG, I hope not...I pray not. I am just becoming to feel alive again after so very long. But that still gives me no excuse to use and abuse this. Much food for thought here, I must say.
    Joy has hit most of it directly on the head so I will not even attempt to go there...kudos to you Joy...
    Again, Ditterbear, you have pushed me out of my comfort zone and given me many things to think over. I love your mind,my friend....never stop pushing us to think, to act, and to dream!!! <3

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    1. Pammie Bear...You are no different than the rest of us...I just want to know what makes us tick. I myself love a strong man...a dominant man with enough sense to not push too hard...to not try and control. But that's wishful thinking I know. Love you Pammie! <3

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  3. Since I started dating at an early age I am guilty of stepping over the good for the bad. Then regretting it. I was such a flirt and could never make up my mind. But as I reahed past my teens and into adulthood it was more worse than ever. The freeedom and responsibility that comes with actions you take. I've passed over 3 marriage proposals and looking back I was being selfish. But also being in LTR's and short term relationships all of what you have said are too true. We get comfortable with our significant other and soon it's just route. Just as Joy I too have a special needs child/Adult now that takes precedance than make-up, dressing up. Men are just as guilty as women and that's what makes it difficult to find the "One". I'm still searching and at 42 I'm comfortable in my own skin and know now what I want, I love to flirt, maybe too much though, if there is such a thing, lol!

    You as always give us so much to think about and I always look forward to your blogs. Happy Writing!

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    1. Nothing wrong with flirting :) I love reading your comments! I love your openness and honesty. Keep your eyes open...there are always second chances <3

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  4. Jaded...yes. I agree! I too have become Jaded. We have so much to give and expect so much in return. But when the giving is taken for an obligation and thus becomes expected this is where the bitterness enters for me. Reflecting back on the past 9 years of my life, I honestly cannot ever remember my husband looking at me with adoration. He divorced his ex and needed a mother for his 4 year old. I think that's where I fell in the picture. Sure he loved, and probably still loves me. Or at least the idea of me. No, in his way I do think he loved me for a time. Now I'm sure he thinks that I have become the typical nagging bitch that most husbands will say his wife becomes. Do I nag, yes, do I bitch, absolutely, am I completely without fault, hell no. I however have a husband the doesn't try. What I mean by doesn't try is simply that. He comes home, sits in a chair and watches TV or naps, period. I don't feel loved, I don't feel appreciated and I don't feel respected. We won't even go into what lacks in the sense of intimacy. I'm not even sure at this point I know what real intimacy entails. I know I crave it...desperately, as much as I crave someone to help with the dishes, bathe the kids or even fold the laundry. I feel like the hired help in my house, and it's not a good thing. I gave my entire being to someone who promised me the world and this is where I have ended up. And Like I said I know that I am not completely without fault but this whole experience has left me jaded. It has left me bitter, it has left me not so willing to trust the next person that should ever walk into my life. In the meantime I intend to find me. I want to become less of the bitter person I have found myself being. In a sense I want to be me again, without the naivete I had before, and hopefully with less of the jadedness I feel now. I'm done bitching and complaining on your blog Ditter! LOL...although it is kind of therapeutic! Love Ya!

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  5. Kristin!! It took me a minute to figure out who this was lol. I'm sorry Honey...You just described 80% of marriages...So sad really, but what to do to change that. Here is my opinion...We are all looking for that one...That best friend/ best lover. The one who makes us feel good...who understands us...The Knight in shining Armour.. When we don't find this...We settle for 1 out 3 aint bad :) We get it in our minds it doesn't exist. We become bitter when the one we settled for doesn't measure up...and they never do.... A lot of men are raised to believe, it's a woman's place to take care of the home and kids...To lay down for him when he wants her. (Shivers). That's all well and good, if they are financially carrying the load...treat you with respect and adore you. You will WANT to do these things for him...BUT most women work also...AND manage the home...the kids and pay the bills. They get no respect, no adoration...More bitterness pours out. It's a never ending cycle. One of the biggest reasons I'm alone. I have found one man I think could be all that for me, but there are too many issues in the way..Do you wait them out...or move on and know that was the ONE..and settle once more? Ahhhh the vicious cycle... Love you too honey! <3

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