Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Neighbor Chronicles--Take 11

I'm totally kidding! Surely you didn't think she kicked my ass? She kicked someones, but it wasn't mine. *Grin*

So let's rewind--The doorbell rang and I looked through the peep hole. It was her. I opened the door and backed up to allow her entrance. She just shook her head at me with tears in her eyes. I was stunned. I never meant to hurt her, only him. She didn't bother attempting to speak (I couldn't understand her anyway). She backed up a step and pointed toward her place. Great, now what? Before I could begin to try and grasp what she was trying to tell me, he walked up on my porch. The look she shot me was a blatant "Help me".

   Cock eye reached out and grabbed her by the arm. He gave it a hard jerk, that caused her to stumble back. I stood there with eyes the size of plates. He jerked her again, harder! She spun around and threw him off. It took him 2 seconds to catch his balance and come at her again. I launched at him the same time she did. I registered a car pulling up, but didn't have time to fully take it in. He swung at her with an open palm, which completely missed it's mark and caught me across the mouth and nose. I saw stars for a minute, while she continued to try and get free. My eyes were watered up and blood was coming from my nose. I launched on his back in an attempt to keep him from killing us both. It shocked me when I was grabbed from behind, lifted off and tossed back.
 
   The incredibly loud sound that came next, could only be described as a gun shot! It was my brother and he'd shattered cock eyes nose! Here we are, on my front porch fighting like the after prom party in the ghetto! My brother is straddling eyeballs and pounding his face, when out of nowhere, the wife dives on his back in an attempt to help her abuser! I saw red! All pity for the woman left in the blink of an eye. I kicked her with everything in me. She screamed as she landed on her back with me on top of her. I heard the sirens in the distance, approaching fast. My brothers head snapped around and we made eye contact. We were about to go to jail....

18 comments:

  1. Holy crap! Stupid woman....hope you got another good kick before the coppers took you away.

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    1. Im sure you charmed your way out of it. unless one was a naughty cop, id make sure i at least got frisked

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    2. Im sure you charmed your way out of it. unless one was a naughty cop, id make sure i at least got frisked

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    3. Lmao Rosie...I'll write more tonight ;)

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  2. What! Oh my goodness! Ghetto fightin on the porch lmao..So now he has a crooked nose to match the eyes...good lawzy this gets better and better!

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  3. OMG!! What a stupid pair that live next door, I hope you kicked that chic good!

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  4. What was that song you were listening to the other day? Oh yeah, Redneck Woman! Lmao You better not make us wait too long to see how this night unfolds!

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    1. lol I won't!! I'll write more in a day or two :D

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  5. Oh Good Lord! What a STRANGE couple! I hope they don't STILL live next door! LOL!

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  6. OMG I just read them all in order...apparently I had missed a few. That shit is hysterical!!! I need to come visit and peek through blinds with you!

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    1. Oh girl...for sure! We wouldn't be able to control our bladder lol

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  8. I hate auto-correct. The shit you some how very mixed up in is to funny to make up. I almost wish I lived closer. Almost being, it's probably a good thing I don't. ;)

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