Sunday, January 20, 2013

Neighbor Chronicles-Take 12

As you all know, I am sitting on the chest of a tiny Asian woman, holding her down. She is like a fire breathing dragon, looking up at me with such animosity. My brother jumps off of Cock eye and waits on the cops to arrive. The sirens are getting closer. He looks nervous. Understanding comes in a flash. He thinks he's going to jail. I just shake my head at him "It was self defense". I'm not sure if that calmed him any, but he didn't bolt. Meanwhile the little shit I was sitting on was doubling her efforts to throw me off. My knees were on her arms and I outweighed her by a good 40 pounds. She wasn't going, she did the only thing she had left to do...She spit in my face!! Oh hell no---- I saw red again! Without thinking, I wrapped my fingers around her throat and choked her! I had lost all control and she somehow bucked me off enough to scratch the side of my face.

    I vaguely remember my brother yelling at me to stop. Too late, I was pulled off the little hell cat by an officer and pushed against the wall by the front door. Oh shit, I was going to jail for assault. Several emotions poured through me at once...(Fear) I was going to jail.... (Vanity) She scratched my face....and (Embarrassment) I knew the officer holding hell cat. Hey squinted at me for a second before a surprised look passed through his eyes. "Ditter, what the hell is going on?". He traded places with the unknown, so he could talk privately with me. I explained what happened as best I could, while he stood there shaking his head.

  Standard procedure is to get I.D. from all parties involved. The officer with me took my statement and ran a check on me. Even though I was a 911 dispatcher, he had no choice. When he looked back at me, I asked the question that was burning hot in my mind, "Am I going to jail?" He didn't answer me. He moved away a few feet, talking into his radio. I almost swallowed my tongue when he took the cuffs off his belt. It wasn't me that he slapped them on though...It was hell cat! She had 2 warrants for her arrest! One for bad checks and one for harassment! They hauled her off my porch looking like a drowned rat. The officer who took care of me asked if I wanted to press charges on cock eye. I just shook my head and they removed him from my property. He was escorted to the police cruiser to be they exited my porch, he looked back and said.....

1 comment:

  1. OMG! This is GREAT. You caught a crook, Ditter! Little did you know, but still . . . . Your instincts were right on. LOL!


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